~~~ Tidbit of Humor: You know you live in these places, if . . . .: ~~~
Tidbits are Informative or Humorous Collection of Sayings
Collected, Edited, Used, and/or Laughed at by
Bobby Matherne ©2003
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Tidbits are Informative or Humorous Collection of Sayings
Collected, Edited, Used, and/or Laughed at by
Bobby Matherne ©2003
This Web Page Contains Material Collected from an Email Received and Edited Subsequently by Bobby Matherne.
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You know you live in these places, if . . . .:
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Your glasses fog up when you step outside.
No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.
You get up in the morning and start a pot of rice to cooking before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.
Your loved one dies and you book a jazz band before you call the coroner.
Your accent sounds nothing like Harry Connick Jr's.
You can sing these jingles by heart: "Rosenberg's, Rosenberg's, 1825 Tulane," "At the beach, at the beach, at Ponchartrain Beach...," Ooh,ooh Leidenheimer's, that's French for bread...."
You were a high school graduate before you realized that Catholic and Public were not two major religions.
Your baby's first words are "long beads." It's first sentence was, "Throw me somethin', Mister !"
You ask, "How dey runnin' ?" and "Are dey fat?", and you're inquiring about boiled crabs.
When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts's black crayon than the Radar Super Doppler 6000.
Nothing shocks you. Period. Ever - not politics, hurricanes, red lights, parking tickets, the Saints, Mardi Gras, ten inches of rain in an hour ....
Being in a jam at Tulane and Broad isn't the same as being stuck in traffic.
You never eat the toast on the bottom of your jumbo seafood platter. You know it's just for decoration.
You have to take your coffee and favorite coffeemaker with you on a three-day trip.
You have snowball stains on your mouth, hands, and shoes.
You always ask for spaghetti with red gravy.
You call the neutral ground by its right name, not median like visitors do.
You save all your old newspaper to cover your table in case you have a big crab, shrimp or crawfish boil.
You are going through Customs and when the agent asks you where you're from, you answer, "Chalmette."
On certain spring days, you have jazz and Crawfish Monica for your breakfast in the middle of a horse racetrack.
You eat snowballs instead of throwing them.
You watch out that little old ladies don't stomp on your fingers when you're retrieving beads and doubloons from the crowded street during a Mardi Gras parade.
You look forward to your next hurricane at Pat O'Brien's.
To catch crabs, you only need some smelt and a string.
You know how that the proper way to open a conversation is to say, "Let me axe you sumpin."
You know how to identify K&B purple even though the drugstore chain is long gone.
You know how to pronounce street names correctly. Like Burgundy, Calliope, Melpomene, Terpsichore, and Chartres. [Burr- gunn- dee, Kall-ee-ope, Mell-poh-meen, Terp-see-kore, and Chart-errs.]
You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and that it runs along the river.
You always wear black to eat beignets so everyone will know you been to Morning Call or Café du Monde by the powdered sugar all over your front.
You wear sweaters in October because it ought to be cold, and you always take a sweater with you in the summertime to go to a restaurant or a movie show.
Someone asks you "Where Y'at?" you say, "J'est fine, Dahlin'! How’s yomomanddem?"
You think of potholes as a naturally occurring obstacle course for sharpening your driving skills.
You suck the heads, eat the tails, sing the blues and you actually know where you got them shoes.
You save the dishes after drying them, and you make groceries at Schwegmann's.
You know where the Old Beach is and how to enter the water from the seawall.
You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show. (You know that ain't the way we talk!)
You have to reset your electric clocks after every thunderstorm. If your VCR is blinking, you know there was one.
You never waste time sitting in traffic like the out-of-towners when you can navigate the back streets.
You know that the real name of the Fairmont Hotel is the the Roosevelt.
You know what Heavenly Hash and Goldbricks Eggs are and who makes them, and you know that Easter would be empty without them. You have actually eaten a Goldbrick or two as a child before they made egg-shaped ones around eastertime.
You consider garbage cans a legal step to protecting your parking space on a public street.
You like to fall asleep to the soothing sound of your large attic fan.
You ignore cockroaches and mosquitos because they don't bother you and you know that they repel unworthy visitors back to their home states.
You know that Uptown is below Downtown and can distinguish the Garden District from the rest of Uptown.
You know that Canal Street divided the French Quarter from the English side of town and the only safe place to meet someone from the other side in the old days was on the neutral ground of Canal Street.
If you were born before 1970, you remember getting all dressed up, including hat and gloves, to go shopping on Canal Street at stores like D.H. Holmes, Gus Mayer, Meyer Israel, Maison Blanche,Goldring's, Krauss, Kreeger's, Miller-Wohl, Lerner's, Lord's, and Leon Godchaux's. You had lunch at Kolb's German Restaurant, Maison Blanche's Rendezvous, The Roosevelt, or grabbed a quick sandwich at the lunch counter at Krauss, F.W. Woolworth, Walgreen's, or K&B so you could catch an afternoon show at the Loew's State Theatre, Sanger Theatre, R.K.O. Orpheum Theatre, or the Joy Theatre.
You know what "Laissez les bon temps rouler" means and that you'll never leave the place where everyone knows what that really means.
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