Site Map: MAIN / Tidbits / This Page

~~~ Tidbit of Humor: You know you live in these places, if . . . .: ~~~


Tidbits are Informative or Humorous Collection of Sayings
Collected, Edited, Used, and/or Laughed at by
Bobby Matherne ©2003

This Web Page Contains Material Collected from an Email Received and Edited Subsequently by Bobby Matherne.
2004 Photo of  Bobby Matherne. To Contact Bobby, Click Here!

To Submit a Tidbit for these Webpages, Click Here!

== == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == ==
§==§==§ Like this Tidbit? Recommend it to a friend! §==§==§
§==§==§ Need a new, Dependable ISP/DSL in a Hurry? §==§==§
Check out:
§==§==§ Also check out our Cartoon Page at:

== == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == ==

You know you live in these places, if . . . .:

== == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == ==

Many thanks to Ginger Thiele for sending along this Tidbit of Useful Information June 9, 2003.

You Know You Live in New Orleans When ... :

Your glasses fog up when you step outside.
No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.

You get up in the morning and start a pot of rice to cooking before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.

Your loved one dies and you book a jazz band before you call the coroner.

Your accent sounds nothing like Harry Connick Jr's.

You can sing these jingles by heart: "Rosenberg's, Rosenberg's, 1825 Tulane," "At the beach, at the beach, at Ponchartrain Beach...," Ooh,ooh Leidenheimer's, that's French for bread...."

You were a high school graduate before you realized that Catholic and Public were not two major religions.

Your baby's first words are "long beads." It's first sentence was, "Throw me somethin', Mister !"

You ask, "How dey runnin' ?" and "Are dey fat?", and you're inquiring about boiled crabs.

When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts's black crayon than the Radar Super Doppler 6000.

Nothing shocks you. Period. Ever - not politics, hurricanes, red lights, parking tickets, the Saints, Mardi Gras, ten inches of rain in an hour ....

Being in a jam at Tulane and Broad isn't the same as being stuck in traffic.

You never eat the toast on the bottom of your jumbo seafood platter. You know it's just for decoration.

You have to take your coffee and favorite coffeemaker with you on a three-day trip.

You have snowball stains on your mouth, hands, and shoes.

You always ask for spaghetti with red gravy.

You call the neutral ground by its right name, not median like visitors do.

You save all your old newspaper to cover your table in case you have a big crab, shrimp or crawfish boil.

You are going through Customs and when the agent asks you where you're from, you answer, "Chalmette."

On certain spring days, you have jazz and Crawfish Monica for your breakfast in the middle of a horse racetrack.

You eat snowballs instead of throwing them.

You watch out that little old ladies don't stomp on your fingers when you're retrieving beads and doubloons from the crowded street during a Mardi Gras parade.

You look forward to your next hurricane at Pat O'Brien's.

To catch crabs, you only need some smelt and a string.

You know how that the proper way to open a conversation is to say, "Let me axe you sumpin."

You know how to identify K&B purple even though the drugstore chain is long gone.

You know how to pronounce street names correctly. Like Burgundy, Calliope, Melpomene, Terpsichore, and Chartres. [Burr- gunn- dee, Kall-ee-ope, Mell-poh-meen, Terp-see-kore, and Chart-errs.]

You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and that it runs along the river.

You always wear black to eat beignets so everyone will know you been to Morning Call or Café du Monde by the powdered sugar all over your front.

You wear sweaters in October because it ought to be cold, and you always take a sweater with you in the summertime to go to a restaurant or a movie show.

Someone asks you "Where Y'at?" you say, "J'est fine, Dahlin'! How’s yomomanddem?"

You think of potholes as a naturally occurring obstacle course for sharpening your driving skills.

You suck the heads, eat the tails, sing the blues and you actually know where you got them shoes.

You save the dishes after drying them, and you make groceries at Schwegmann's.

You know where the Old Beach is and how to enter the water from the seawall.

You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show. (You know that ain't the way we talk!)

You have to reset your electric clocks after every thunderstorm. If your VCR is blinking, you know there was one.

You never waste time sitting in traffic like the out-of-towners when you can navigate the back streets.

You know that the real name of the Fairmont Hotel is the the Roosevelt.

You know what Heavenly Hash and Goldbricks Eggs are and who makes them, and you know that Easter would be empty without them. You have actually eaten a Goldbrick or two as a child before they made egg-shaped ones around eastertime.

You consider garbage cans a legal step to protecting your parking space on a public street.

You like to fall asleep to the soothing sound of your large attic fan.

You ignore cockroaches and mosquitos because they don't bother you and you know that they repel unworthy visitors back to their home states.

You know that Uptown is below Downtown and can distinguish the Garden District from the rest of Uptown.

You know that Canal Street divided the French Quarter from the English side of town and the only safe place to meet someone from the other side in the old days was on the neutral ground of Canal Street.

If you were born before 1970, you remember getting all dressed up, including hat and gloves, to go shopping on Canal Street at stores like D.H. Holmes, Gus Mayer, Meyer Israel, Maison Blanche,Goldring's, Krauss, Kreeger's, Miller-Wohl, Lerner's, Lord's, and Leon Godchaux's. You had lunch at Kolb's German Restaurant, Maison Blanche's Rendezvous, The Roosevelt, or grabbed a quick sandwich at the lunch counter at Krauss, F.W. Woolworth, Walgreen's, or K&B so you could catch an afternoon show at the Loew's State Theatre, Sanger Theatre, R.K.O. Orpheum Theatre, or the Joy Theatre.

You know what "Laissez les bon temps rouler" means and that you'll never leave the place where everyone knows what that really means.

You Know You Live in California when...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Know You Live in New York City when...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Know You Live in Maine when...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You Know You Live in the South when...

1. You can rent a movie, buy a fifth of Jack Daniels, and get minnows for fishing in the same store.
2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4. You have four broken washing machines, two junk pickups, and 7 hound dogs in your front yard.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You Know You live in Colorado when...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You Know You live in the Midwest when...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
6. You say "You guys" and laugh at Southerners who say, "You all".

You Know You live in Florida when...

1. You eat dinner at 4:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.



Over One Million Good Readers a Year as of 2004

Did you Enjoy this Tidbit?
Subscribe to our Good Mountain Press Monthly Digest now.
To Return Here from that page, Click your BACK button when Ready.
For a Sample of a Recent Digest on-line. Click Here

Are you in pain? Unhappy? Angry? Anxious? Feel down or upset by the world situation? Plagued by chronic discomforts like migraines or tension-type headaches? At Last! An Alternative Approach to Removing Unwanted Physical Body States without Drugs or Psychotherapy, e-mediatelytm!
Click Here to Visit to Discover for Yourself How Fear, Anger, and Anxiety are Endangered Species From Now On!

Counselor? Visit the Counselor's Corner for Suggestions on Incorporating Doyletics in Your Work.
Click here to Return to Home Page!

e-mediatelytm is a Trademark of 21st Century Education, Inc. Prototyped 2000.