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~~~ Tidbit of Humor: Things Mama Taught Me ~~~

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Tidbits are Informative or Humorous Collection of Sayings
Collected, Edited, Used, and/or Laughed at by
Bobby Matherne ©2003

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Tidbit of Humor: Things Mama Taught Me

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MOMMA TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME RELIGION

"You better pray that will come out of your shirt!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL

"If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into next week!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME LOGIC

"Because I said so, that's why!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME IRONY

"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM

"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA

"You'll sit there until all that macaroni and cheese in your plate is gone!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER

"It looks like a tornado went through your room!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE POWER OF EXPECTATION

"You just wait till your father comes home!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

"Stop acting like your father!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT ENVY

"There are millions of less fortunate kids in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

MOMMA TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"

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