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~~~ Tidbit of Humor: Dr. Seuss's "PC Blues and Spam" Tidbit ~~~


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Tidbit of Humor: Dr. Seuss's "PC Blues and Spam" Tidbit

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Many thanks to Kristina Kaine from Oz who sent me this tidbit of Dr. Seuss Hilarity on Fri, 30 August 2004, which I tweaked a bit and titled for this Tidbit. And thanks to the real Dr. Seuss for his "Green Eggs and Ham" which inspired this computer take-off.

Dr. Seuss's "PC Blues and Spam" Tidbit:

If your PC is SNAFU
And you haven't got a clue ---
      You send an email to Support you're in a jam,
      And all they send you back is pornographic SPAM ---
If you don't know where to turn for help
If you only want to cry and yelp,
If you're tired, depressed, and so upset
And no sign of sympathy you get,
Before your head becomes too bowed,
Here's a thing to read aloud:

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your
floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel in another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
And your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse

--- then ---

You may as well reboot the thing and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn the PC off and be sure to tell your mom!


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