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1. May Violet-n-Joey CARTOON:
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For newcomers to the Digest, we have created a webpage of all the Violet-n-Joey cartoons!
Check it out at: http://www.doyletics.com/vjtoons.htm Also note the rotating calendar and clock
that follows just to the right of your mouse pointer as you scroll down the page. You'll also see
the clock on the 404 Error page if you make a mistake typing a URL while on the doyletics.com
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The Violet-n-Joey Cartoon page is been divided into two pages: one low-speed and one high-speed access. If you have Do NOT Have High-Speed Access, you may try this Link which will load much faster and will allow you to load one cartoon at a time. Use this one for High-Speed Access.
This month Violet and Joey learn about The World as Amplifier, The End, and Lucky People.
#1 "The World as Amplifier" at http://www.doyletics.com/10267916.gif
#2 "The End" at http://www.doyletics.com/10267917.gif
#3 "Lucky People" at http://www.doyletics.com/11017918.gif
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2. HONORED READERS FOR May:
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Each month we take time to thank two of our good readers of Good Mountain Press Digest, books and reviews. Here's our two worthy Honored Readers for this month. One of their names will be in the TO: address line of your email Digest notification. Our Honored Readers for May are:
Alan James Spencer in Queensland, Australia
Dorothy Bowles in Knoxville, Tennessee
Congratulations, Alan and Dorothy!
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3. ON A PERSONAL NOTE:
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Out Our Way:
April has been another busy month. Whoever chose April as Tax Return month must have had it
in for New Orleans because it is the most glorious month of the year. Clear bright skies and cool
shirt sleeve weather, low humidity and the whole world calls for us to be outside, while we
struggle miserably indoors with our income tax returns! Those of us who don't have a CPA on
retainer, that is. Time to get rid of income taxes with its nosy IRS minions and replace the tax
system with a simple, everybody pays, sales tax. Pay taxes one-time when you buy something.
Encourage savings and investment — that will put everyone to work at good jobs — jobs that add
to the net worth of this country, instead taking away from it in unproductive time filling out tax
returns on beautiful days in the Spring!
I attended the Mass of Chrism on the Tuesday before Easter at the St. Louis Basilica in Jackson
Square. You know it from its status as the trademark or logo of New Orleans - instantly
recognizable. I think it's fantastic to live in a city whose universally recognized icon is a church.
I believe it is the first cathedral in the USA and is situated between the oldest apartment
buildings in the country, the ones designed and funded by Baroness Pontalba. Look for an opera
about this amazing woman soon, as the New Orleans Opera Guild has commissioned one to be
written. During the Chrism Mass, the oils used by the entire Archdiocese of New Orleans are
blessed and distributed to the almost 400 priests in attendance, all decked out in their white
scapulae with colorful designs on each. Quite a parade of saints when they come marching into
the cathedral to the sounds of trumpets and the angelic voices of the Boys' Choir. I never miss
this wonderful ceremony. Afterward I had my café-au-lait and beignets [square donuts dusted
with powdered sugar] at Café du Monde. My friend Hock Barthelemew was holding forth on the
sidewalk outside, playing his trumpet and singing "Amazing Grace". This year he had a guitar
accompaniment, a guitarist from New Mexico in town for the Jazz Fest.
For Easter Sunday, we were invited by our friend Captain Andy to join him and his
family in their Greek Easter celebration at his home on the eastern edge of Lake Pontchartrain.
Sitting there with the cool breeze in our faces, looking out at the sailboats on the lake, I couldn't
imagine a more wonderful place to be on an Easter Sunday. We've been to Capt. Andy's for
Greek Easter several times before, but this is the first time the Western and the Greek Easters
coincided on the same Sunday; usually the Greek Easter comes on the Sunday after the Western
celebration. Did I mention the food? I cooked a turkey and oyster dressing and by the looks of
the meager leftovers, it found a place on dinner plates along with the cabbage rolls, roast lamb,
baklava, and other things whose Greek names I can't recall.
On the Thursday after Easter, I got a contract writing procedures for an offshore platform,
a dynamically positioned rig. What that means is that the rig is actually a ship
with eight thrusters and a Captain [DPO] whose collective job is to keep the ship in the same
place with a foot or two so that drilling may proceed safely and efficiently. You might say that I
was floating out in the middle of the Gulf but I never moved for a whole week. Click Here to see rig.
This weekend we're going to a birthday party for our friend Gail, a special function at
Holy Family Church with my dad, a crawfish boil at my daughter Maureen's in-laws, and the
newlyweds, Doyle and Norma Henderson arrived in town in their 38' Motorhome. They joined
us in Bobby Jeaux's Kitchen last night.
Our grandson, Gabe, made his First Communion, and our grandson, Sam, in Little
League baseball, made the All-Star team for his league.
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4. Garth Speight's Polack STORY:
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Note: this month, dear Readers, you get a break from the Cajun stories. This might be called a
Polack story as it involves three natives of Poland. It is a true story. I relate it as I recall Garth
Speight's telling his story to our small seminar group in Rome before our farewell banquet. The
story is so fascinating that, without taking notes, I was able to recall most of it from my memory
a week later when I wrote it up. There are some details in this story that people who have heard it
many times may not know, up until now. A friend who was a Museum Director told me that it
was the funniest story she ever heard. With that tantalizing introduction done with, read on. . .
March 27, 2001: We went to dinner at Franco's Ristorante near where Garth lives in Rome. But
first we had champagne all around in Garth's dining room. Battle Bell coaxed Garth to tell the
story of how he came to have a painting, an artwork of his, hung in the Vatican Museum.
Did I tell you this story already? I've told it to many other people since it's such a great story.
Shows how Rome pretty much works the way Louisiana works: if you want something done, it
helps if you know somebody who knows somebody in power. In this case the most unlikely
person, name of Felix, who Garth called the "Porno King of Rome" because of his long term
dealing in making sexually explicit movies and other pornographia.
Garth had done some small favors for Felix, cashed some checks for him, stuff like that.
Felix said, "Garth, I want to repay you for you favors." Garth demurred, saying it was nothing,
forget about it. Felix kept bringing up the subject and finally, in exasperation, Garth said, "Okay,
if you want to do something for me, help me get one of my paintings hung in the Vatican." That
seemed to shut Felix up and Garth was happy.
Then one day, months later, a phone call came for Garth. "Pronto" Garth said, which is
the universal greetings Italians use when they answer the phone, it means "I Hear"
approximately. The officious sounding man on the other end of the phone said, "I am Pietro
Angelica (Peter of the Angels, in English), head of the Vatican Art Museum and we have
received instructions from above to hang one of your paintings in the Vatican." Garth said that
old Peter of the Angels wasn't too happy that someone had gone over his head, as ole Pete's job
was selecting the paintings for the Vatican Museum! Besides that, going over his head meant the
Pope personally had requested Garth's painting be hung! Garth was agog. How this happened he
had no idea, having forgotten about Felix and his jestful request of him.
He met with Peter to show him samples of his artworks that might be suitable for the
Vatican. Garth had done a series of biblical themed paintings years earlier, and Peter selected the
one called the Sacrifice of Isaac
.
Garth explained to us that he liked to doing paintings in which there was some tension,
and one can see that the Angel is holding the knife in Abraham's hand which is poised to
sacrifice Isaac. Peter said that there were no paintings in the Vatican which dealt with this subject
and that was the one he wanted. Since he couldn't select the artist, he was going to exercise his
selection authority in some way.
He told Garth that there would be a ceremony in about a month to induct his painting into
the Vatican exhibit and Garth went home to locate his painting. His records showed that the
painting was in Canada with a friend of his in a warehouse with other paintings. He called his
friend and got back the news that Isaac had disappeared without a trace. What could Garth do?
Since he was the artist, he decided to paint a copy of his own painting. He had a
photograph to work from. So he had the painting completed and got a call from Fr. Peter to set
the date - it was to be in a couple of weeks. And "Oh, by the way, since you are the first artist
from your country to have a work hung in the Vatican, we'd like a representative from your
country, an official from your country, to be present at the ceremony." Garth left the meeting a
little shaken as he didn't know where to turn. Wait, he thought to himself, there's old Joe from
the Canadian Embassy to Italy that I get together with for drinks from time to time. We're always
drinking and joking. He'll be able to help. So Garth called his friend "Joe" (not his real name) at
the Embassy. His ole drinking buddy thought Garth was spoofing and refused to take him
seriously. Several other calls to the Canadian Embassy to Italy brought no response. Time was
running out. Suddenly Garth remembered that there are two Canadian Embassies in Rome, one to
Italy and one to the Vatican, which is a different and separate country and has its own embassy.
He called in blind to the Canadian Embassy to the Vatican and they took him seriously.
Only problem was that the official who normally took care of such duties was out of town and
not available. But don't worry, the man at the embassy told Garth, we have just had a new
ambassador appointed to the Vatican. He only just got here today and he's not doing anything
tomorrow, so he'll be glad to do the job of being your representative.
Suddenly Garth went from having nobody as his representative to having the ambassador
himself. Triumphantly he called Fr. Peter of the Angels at the Vatican to tell him of his official
representative from Canada, only to have this icy reply, "The ambassador?" "Yes," Garth said,
"the ambassador will be there tomorrow."
"But you can't do that," Fr. Pete protested, "the ambassador has not been presented to the
Pope yet!"
"Look, you asked for an official representative of my government, and that's who you're
going to get." Garth replied.
So Garth and the ambassador showed up for the ceremony, the highlight of which was the
signing of the official book, a huge tome covered with gold and filled with indestructible vellum
pages. It was opened to a blank page and the pen was given by Fr. Peter to the Canadian
ambassador to sign. The ambassador said, "I can't sign that."
"Why not?" Fr. Peter asked.
"I'm not the artist. The artist of the work is the one who should sign that document."
So the ornate quill pen was handed to Garth who signed it with a flourish not seen since
John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence.
Only later did Garth happen to run into Felix, remember him - the Porno King of Rome?
He said, "Felix, I got one of my paintings hung in the Vatican recently. Did you by any chance
have something to do with that?"
"Oh, sure, I called the First Secretary to the Pope who was a school buddy of mine back
in grade school in Poland and asked him to have a painting of yours hung in the Vatican and he
said he'd take care of it."
We can only guess that the Secretary drafted a letter for the Pope to sign directing the
Head of the Vatican Museum, Fr. Peter, to hang one of Garth's works in the Vatican. "Here sign
this, this artist's work needs to be in the Vatican. We don't have any Canadian artists." And the
Pope signed it. Garth says that for twenty years after the episode with the ambassador, Fr. Peter
was angry with Garth for bringing the ambassador and never forgave him till the day he died.
We laughed and laughed at all the twists and turns of the story. I hope I got all of them
and the names correct, as I'm typing this from my memory of that night almost a week ago. I've
told the story several times in between that has helped me to remember details that I otherwise
would have forgotten.
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The best source at the best price is to order your copies on-line is from the publisher Random House/Xlibris's website above.
